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Always Remember.

You are loved by so

Many; we all care for you.

Always remember.

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Thought-to-Thought-to-Thought.

– My knee still hurts like a bitch. It’s scabbing over now . . . finally . . . but I still can’t put a whole lot of pressure on it.  And it totally sucks, because this all could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t been such a klutz and, you know, face-planted on the sidewalk last week.

– I graduated from college only a week ago. Weird . . . seems longer ago than that.

– I need a new backpack. The metal tip of one of my spiral-bound notebooks poked a hole through the bottom of my current bag and hooked into the seat of my pants. You know, the half-cotton, half-spandex, super comfy kind.

Let’s just say I felt really awkward attempting to fish the end of that spiral out of my fucking underwear in the middle of Union Station while I waited to board the Metra train that would take me out to the suburbs so I could tutor my kids. (I mean, they’re not really my kids, but, well, you get it.)

– God, I love coffee. Isn’t coffee great? Like, the best.

– I have an obsession with Triscuit crackers. It’s kind of a problem.

– I really need a drink right now.

– I’m glad I shifted the furniture around in the dining room of the apartment. It’s much more enjoyable to look out the windows than it is to stare at a fucking wall all day.

– The future terrifies me. Honestly, I don’t have much to say other than that. (And please, for the love of God, tell me if you agree. I hope I’m not alone in this.)

– It feels strange not having to go to class tomorrow . . . or not having to go to school ever again, period. Or at least, for now.

– I’m cold.

– I need more coffee. Pronto.

– Isn’t the mind such a complex, peculiar thing? I wish I had a greater understanding of the thing and how it worked.

– Maybe I should apply to grad school.

Maybe I shouldn’t apply to grad school.

Maybe . . .

– Some days, when I’m really depressed, I like to torture myself with a few of those lamely romantic, And-They-All-Lived-Happily-Ever-After movies, back-to-back-to-back. Then I curse at the television screen, chuck a couple of pillows at it, and cry a lot. It’s strangely, emotionally refreshing.

– I don’t particularly like politics, but I don’t hate them, either. It’s kind of like those middle school relationships where the two kids get together, then break up a week later, only to crawl back to each other a couple days after that. It’s difficult to put your faith in something (like a relationship . . . or the federal government) when everything could go to shit at a moment’s notice.

I just think the thing is . . . I wish some members of Congress . . . hell, let’s throw the White House in there, too. I was planning on addressing that later, but why not just do it now? Might as well.

Anyway, I wish I knew what the hell they’re doing in Washington. But maybe they don’t even know. I mean, at least the members of Congress that I don’t like and, in my opinion, have made some pretty mindless decisions in the first 120 or so days of the new president’s first term (yeah, I’m looking at you, Paul Ryan.)

Wait, what was that? You guys are trying to make the country better for the American people? For all of us? Oh! I get it now! Of course! It all makes so much sense now! Thanks for clearing that up for me, man.

Hang on . . . you’ve got something else? What did you say? That the American people you’re referring to are only the rich, straight, white guys? But . . . that’s not fair. What about the rest of us? We aren’t all rich, straight, and white like you.

Okay, okay. No, I understand you perfectly. What you’re telling me is, you lied. To all of us.

Well, thanks a lot, man. So much for the land of the free.

Food for Thought:  To be moral is to know the difference between right and wrong. Banning refugees from entering the country is wrong. Taking healthcare away from millions of Americans is wrong. Separating families is wrong. Discriminating against anybody because of race, gender, religion (among other things) is wrong.

We’re all human. No two of us are the same. I feel like that should be obvious, but I’ll spell it out for you anyway, just so you and your friends in Congress understand (and, of course, in the White House; they all need to be taught this, too.) Hopefully (though I’m really not holding my breath) the concept of diversity will lodge into those weird looking masses inside your skulls. I mean, they kind of look like masses of brain tissue, but at the same time, not really. You guys probably don’t see it since your eyes are, you know, screwed into the middle of your face below your forehead, but all that tissue is so dark and misshapen. Corrupted, actually. Yeah, corrupted is probably a better word.

I know there are those members of Congress who are genuinely good people, who stand by the American people that they represent, who believe in progress. But even though their good intentions make me just a tad less anxious when I wonder about the future of the United States . . . I mean, that’s just it. I’m still anxious. I still wonder, worry. This is why looking ahead scares me so much. Because I can’t see it.

– I guess . . . Jesus, I don’t know . . . . heh, I’m trying to end this on a bit of a lighter note because that was all insanely depressing. I’m going to be honest, I don’t know where the democracy has gone. Maybe it’s dead. Hopefully not. Hopefully it’s hiding around somewhere nearby, or it’s huddling underground, licking its wounds and hibernating for the next 3+ years. Who knows how long it’ll take to come back to us, but at least there are decent people out there willing to fight for it.

– So, yeah . . . there’s that.

– Again, on a lighter note, before I end it here, I adore puppies. I seriously need a Corgi in my life. They’re the cutest things next to kittens. Kittens are the best. ❤

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Perspective.

Remember this:

If you’ve had a rough day, tomorrow is right around the corner with a fresh start.

Self-care is important.  Take some time for yourself.

It might sound cheesy, but attitude really is everything.

You’re stronger than you know.

Do something that makes you happy.

It might not seem like it now, but everything’s going to be okay.

It’ll get better.

Somebody out there loves you.

And also . . . I love you.  So there. ( :

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Things That Make One’s Heart Beat Faster.

Caffeine – That first cup of coffee in the early morning is a godsend.

A hot shower – Or an ice-cold one, I suppose, depending on a person’s preference.

Music composed by Hans Zimmer, particularly those pieces featured in the films that shaped Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy

Jaws – Need I say more?

An hour of heavy weight training

The arrival of a college acceptance letter

A 3-mile run – The endorphins feel amazing.

Your first roller coaster ride

Your second roller coaster ride

Scaling twelve flights of stairs to make it to class on time

A first kiss

A pair of strong arms enveloping me in a warm embrace

Waking up from a dream, and remembering every detail

His fingers trailing down my naked spine

The moment I realized I’d fallen in love with him