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The Skinny Of It All

Your favorite thing about summer:  Everybody wants to take their shirts off.

Summer.  It’s hot, perfect beach weather.  You’re sweaty, taking another half-mile in the sand, the grainy stuff sifting deeper into your socks, when you see her, the cliché of a summer fling: blonde hair, sunglasses too big for her face, tight little bikini body lounging on an oversized towel while she flips through one book or another. Tolstoy, you think, or perhaps Hemingway, because don’t all mysterious beach-going girls have a knack for toting along classic literature, in hopes that some drooling guy on his afternoon run will take notice and attempt to pick her up?

But you don’t stop. Not yet. For starters, you’re still trying to run yourself thin, remember? All those fitness magazines told you to do it in four weeks, by summer, and you’re only on Week 3. You’re not done yet. So you circle around and keep going, this time behind the blonde stereotype of a bombshell who still appears incredibly oblivious that a stranger is literally running circles around her. Or maybe she’s watching you. Isn’t that how it goes in those Hollywood movies, anyway? You don’t think the stranger that you’re watching is watching you, but then you do a double-take, and it turns out that said stranger is, in fact, watching you, just like you’re watching her.

Well then, if this girl’s somehow secretly eyeing you beneath her sunglasses, you need to run faster. For one, you’ll burn more calories and be on your way to those washboard abs you keep seeing in your fitness magazines. And two, the faster your run, the stronger that girl will think you are—she might even find you attractive, maybe—even as you sweat like a dog, because she’s the kind that likes strong men. At least, that’s what you think she likes, but what other kind of man is there, besides a strong one? Besides a man who can run, like you, in all his David Hassellhoff-esque, slow-mo, Baywatch bullshit?

You’ve been running up the beach for a little while now, so it should be safe for you to turn back around and head towards the pretty blonde again, right?  Well, sure, you can run back, but she won’t be there.  She’s disappeared, but who the hell knows why?  Maybe she freaked out about the stranger who was running in circles around her.  Maybe it was too hot outside and she just wanted to go home.  Or maybe this all just happened in your head, maybe she was just part of your imagination.

Happy Friday, everybody. 🙂

 

 

Photo Link:  https://pixabay.com/en/beach-holidays-race-exercise-646612/

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